Mingle Bells: The 5 Do's of Picking up at a Party

By Andrea Syrtash, ONDating Special to Yahoo! Personals Updated: Dec 13, 2007


Want to be the party guest who lights up the room?

I have a friend who claims to hibernate during the winter because all the couples she sees snuggling up and keeping each other warm make her want to crawl back into bed.

The good news is that the holiday season is one of the best times to meet someone. Chances are you'll be invited to more parties over the next few weeks than the rest of the year, and singles report that parties are one of the greatest places to meet potential dates. The mood is fun and festive and breaking the ice is easier when you know some people in common in the room.

When you're heading out to the parties, remember some of the 'do's' of picking up:

1. DO be impressed by the object of your affection rather than trying to impress him or her with all your stats. People notice when you notice them.

No need to ask 20 questions, but do ask a few open-ended and specific questions
No need to ask 20 questions but do ask a few open-ended and specific questions (rather than 'yes'/'no' questions), make eye contact and listen. Curiosity is a very attractive quality and a simple way to engage your audience.

2. DO find common ground. What brought you to the party? Chances are you know some people in common in the room. This will help you build connection and trust. When asking the object of your interest questions, figure out some activities, hobbies, or experiences you've shared.

3. DO hang out by the food and drink table when you don't know who to talk to. Ever notice how people congregate in the kitchen at many house parties? Many people approach this area on their own to refill their cups and grab a bite, and it will be easier to start a conversation when they've stepped away from the other guests. Offer to get a drink for the object of your affection and if he or she is standing with a friend, extend the invitation.

4. DO see every person you meet as a potential connection.
Stay open. Sometimes the people you know the least will help you the most.
Stay open. Sometimes the people you know the least will help you the most. If you chat with someone interesting who is not single, he or she may know someone to introduce you to. Also, do not assume that the shy person in the corner at a party is boring. Take the opportunity to learn about people in the room before you decide if you are interested or not.

5. DO initiate conversation. The general rule of networking is to approach someone who is standing on his or her own or join a conversation with three or more people. In general, it's not a great idea to interrupt two people talking unless you know one. When approaching someone new, always remember to smile.

So fill up your social calendar this holiday season and let the pick ups begin! If you play your cards right, you'll be like my friend and will want to hibernate and crawl into bed this winter...but in this case, it won't be because you're lonely.